Does That Scream Romance to You?
by Marine-Depths13
Summary: With every show, there’s fandom. And with every fandom, comes millions of pairings. Well, this fanfiction exploits pairings from the show of NARUTO and tells the pros and cons of each, with a story to match each side! DISCONTINUED?


**Summary: **With every show, there's fandom. And with every fandom, comes millions of pairings—ones both logical and ones that are completely insane. Well, this fanfiction exploits pairings from the show of NARUTO and tells the pros and cons of each, with a story to match each side! I TAKE PAIRING REQUESTS!

**Rating: **Nothing Above T. Even then, it may not be "fluff" up to that standard. Only thing M will be the language at times –sweatdrops-

**Genre: **Romance/Humor

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M-D13: I return with yet another fiction! This one, however, will be A LOT of fun, I bet! I'm looking forward to creating as many pairings as I can. Also, **I take pairing requests**! If there's a pairing you want to see in here and you absolutely hate or love it, tell me in a review (and maybe give me a scenario as well -sweatdrop- that'd be appreciated). Even if I dislike the pairing (it can be anything— homosexual or heterosexual) or I like the pairing and you hate it, I'll more than likely get around to doing it! HOWEVER. I will make this VERY clear right now:

**DO NOT flame me over ANY pairing that is mentioned throughout this fanfiction! If you dislike a pairing, SKIP OVER THE CHAPTER OR READ THE NEGATIVE!! I will not tolerate flaming over ANYTHING within this!!**

**I RESPECT YOUR OPINIONS, SO LET'S SEE IF YOU RESPECT MINE.**

Now, hopefully none of that will become an issue. I know you're all good kids … or adults. I don't know. Even if I do receive a modest amount of flames, I will not stop this fiction (unless I just grow tired of it, or something). Flaming me is basically pointless. So, without too much further ado, I need my assistants. –calls over- Peine! Shino! Hinata!

Peine: … -only one there- … -looks around, blinking-

M-D13: o.o? Where are the others?

Peine: Uh … Apparently not here.

M-D13: … Goddammit! Well, fine. Peine, you're in charge. Say the disclaimer.

Peine: … -sighs- Troublesome woman. Anyways … **Disclaimer: This pathetic excuse for a girl owns nothing relating to this fiction other than the plotline and one or two of the pairings she CLAIMS no one has ever thought of even though a google search proved otherwise.**

M-D13: -twitches and glares at him- … … … -sighs- Thanks … Peine. Thanks.

Peine: Hn.

M-D13: … And … now I will start the fic. Oh, wait! One last thing! **IN YOUR REVIEW, TELL ME YOUR OPINION THE PAIRING! It'll be interesting to find out what people think! **And NOW without further ado, I shall start!! First up, Sasori x Gaara!

Peine: -startled- Excuse me?

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_CHAPTER ONE: Akasuna no Sasori x Sabuko no Gaara_

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**PRELIMARY INFORMATION: **Akasuna no Sasori ("Sasori of the Red Sand") is a member of the Akatsuki, as most to all of you know. And it's obvious who Sabuko no Gaara ("Gaara of the Desert") is, so there is no need for introduction of said Kazekage. I _want_ to say I take full-credit for this pairing, for I searched and found no traces of anything similar. However, that does not mean it's not out there. So, let me live in a bubble of small pride, and continue with this fiction.

**THE "PROS" OF THE PAIRING:** Both ninja are extremely talented shinobi of the sand. Neither of them in their past had felt the love of a mother or a father, for those familiar with Sasori know that his parents never hugged him or paid him much mind at all. Gaara, obviously, grew up without love due to his mother dying and his father hating him. Thus, each ninja would have an understanding of the significant other, and probably would be able to confide to the other very easily… Plus, both have red hair. Though that's technically not saying much.

**THE "CONS" OF THE PAIRING:**Sasori, unfortunately, is a human puppet, and cannot technically feel "love". In addition to this, Sasori is in the Akatsuki, which is hunting the jinchuuriki. Gaara is a jinchuuriki. You do the math. To add to the damage, Sasori is assigned to _Gaara specifically_, which makes it even worse. I haven't a doubt in my mind that things would end up badly… … Besides, HOW old is Sasori? 35? 40? 50? He'd be a pedophile doing a minor. Bad Sasori! Bad! –flicks on nose-

**THE RESULT:** Uh… well, like most pairings, in my opinion, it really could be pulled either way. I personally support the pairing lightly (though it is not my favorite), just because I find it sort of cute … even if it _is_ crack… -sweatdrop- I just don't have an argumentive bone in my body…

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THE POSITIVE SCENARIO (THE "PRO"):

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The young, redheaded Kazekage sat tied up in the corner of the room of the Akatsuki lair, watching the floor idly. Not too much earlier, he had been captured by the member Deidara and due to unbeknownst circumstances to him, he was left in this room with barely an ounce of consciousness to him. He lifted his head gingerly and looked around the room, the dull, gray walls hard to depict from the dull furniture that was scattered about what almost seemed to be a living room. His consciousness was slowly coming back to him, the Shukaku within him gently healing him. He blinked his heavy eyelid a few times, and then heard footsteps sounding from down the hallway. He groggily lifted his head to see who was coming, and then saw a flash of red hair, bright like his own, exit the dark corridor.

"Funny," the man muttered, staring at Gaara, his hazel eyes burning into him, "You're still alive?"

Gaara, though his mouth was not covered and he was not gagged, made no move to answer and just hung his head. It was throbbing horribly and he felt weak, tired, and dying right there now seemed like the best option. He'd be out of the way, the demon wouldn't be able to be extracted from him, and the village would be safe. He paused. The village… He only had to hope that his village … and his family … were safe. He knew this man faintly, for once or twice he had heard Chiyo, the Sunagakure village elder, mutter something to him about how he looked like "Sasori" and how she wondered what ever happened to him after he become rogue. Though she claimed he would be 40 or 50 by this time, and the man standing before Gaara was probably not too far his elder— 25 at the latest, perhaps.

"I had expected Deidara to have killed you, you know," The man, now coded as Sasori, stepped closer to the bound boy in the corner. "It surprises me you're alive."

Gaara now managed to lift his head weakly, and then founded Sasori crouched down right in front of him, staring at him intently but almost curiously. The younger redhead's eyes widened slightly, surprised to find the man so close to him. Sasori kept a blank, dull face on,

"Seems you have all your limbs, as well. You did quite a number on my partner." Sasori commented, staring straight into Gaara's eyes, making him fidget slightly, uncomfortable. "Deidara is a very skilled ninja, no matter how adamant he can be. I admire that you did so much to him, and by yourself nonetheless."

The younger, again, made no move to respond, and Sasori kept his steady gaze on the boy in front of him. "I see you are not in the mood to talk. I cannot blame you," Sasori mused, cocking his head to the side, "However, may I get you anything? We do need to keep you alive, after all."

Gaara managed to glare heatedly at the rogue, who kept his blank gaze on him. Sasori seemed to lose the blank face and sighed, showing slight irritation, as he shifted his position to sitting down, knees idly in front of him, "I can see why you wouldn't want to talk to me. Honestly, I wouldn't want to talk to me, either." Again, Gaara said nothing, but tore his gaze from the man in front of him and glared at the floor. Sasori sighed again, "You miss your family and friends, I assume. It's funny how I wish I could say the same. I have no friends, I suppose." He seemed to be talking to himself more than anything now, and Gaara, again, responded to nothing. "It must be … nice to feel love."

But somehow, that caught Gaara's attention. He turned his head to the rogue and stared at him, with the said ex-sand ninja gazing at the floor with a troubled but somehow downcast look on his face.

"Since I became a puppet… I cannot feel anything anymore," Sasori muttered, shifting his position so he was cross-legged, "And sometimes, I guess… I miss that."

For the first time since he was forced from Suna, Gaara spoke—granted it was raspy and quiet, but it was his voice, "… If you miss it, then obviously you still have those emotions."

Sasori snapped his head to look at the boy, looking shocked, " … What?"

"You … claim you have no emotions," Gaara muttered, starting to come out of his groggy, half-dead state. "And yet… you say you miss having them. To miss is … to be saddened… You are saddened… therefore, it is an emotion." Never in his life had Gaara spoken so much to someone he did not know, and, even worse, who was trying to kill him. Sasori stared at the younger boy for a moment, his eyes unreadable to him, until the man started to lean forward. Gaara took it as a threat and tried to crane his head away, but Sasori reached a hand out and set his gently on his cheek,

"Thank you, Sabuko no Gaara," He whispered, and then kissed the boy's forehead, right on his kanji, and ran his thumb over the younger's cheekbone idly after he had pulled away and looked into the boy's eyes. Meanwhile, the ninja in front of him was bright red all across his cheeks, and did not understand any of what was going on, but only knew one thing— the elder man had just kissed his forehead. "I only wish we did not have to kill you… Perhaps then you could have shown me love."

The man stood up, and quietly walked away, his cloak billowing behind him as he silently went back into the corridor, disappearing from Gaara's sight.

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THE NEGATIVE SCENARIO (THE "CON"):

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The young, redheaded Kazekage sat tied up in the corner of the room of the Akatsuki lair, watching the floor idly. Not too much earlier, he had been captured by the member Deidara and due to unbeknownst circumstances to him, he was left in this room with barely an ounce of consciousness to him. He lifted his head gingerly and looked around the room, the dull, gray walls hard to depict from the dull furniture that was scattered about what almost seemed to be a living room. His consciousness was slowly coming back to him, the Shukaku within him gently healing him. He blinked his heavy eyelid a few times, and then heard footsteps sounding from down the hallway. He groggily lifted his head to see who was coming, and then saw a flash of red hair, bright like his own, exit the dark corridor.

"Hmph," the man muttered, staring at Gaara, his hazel eyes burning into him, "You're still alive?"

Gaara, though his mouth was not covered and he was not gagged, made no move to answer and just hung his head. It was throbbing horribly and he felt weak, tired, and dying right there now seemed like the best option. But he wouldn't let himself die. No. Not just yet. However, by the time the demon was extracted from him, he probably will have died anyway. The thought, for some reason, depressed the redhead. Perhaps it was because he finally seemed to be finding his place in the world …

He knew this man faintly, for once or twice he had heard Chiyo, the Sunagakure village elder, mutter something to him about how he looked like "Sasori" and how she wondered what ever happened to him after he become rogue. Though she claimed he would be 40 or 50 by this time, and the man standing before Gaara was probably not too far his elder— 25 at the latest, perhaps. They could not be the same person, could they?

"I had expected Deidara to have killed you, you know," The man, now coded as Sasori, stepped closer to the bound boy in the corner. "It surprises me you're alive. Then again, you are the Kazekage. I should have expected nothing less."

Gaara now managed to lift his head weakly, and then founded Sasori crouched down right in front of him, staring at him intently but almost curiously. However behind the eyes seemed to be clouded hate. The younger redhead's eyes widened slightly, surprised to find the man so close to him, staring at him so heatedly. Sasori kept a blank, dull face on,

"It doesn't matter, however, considering you will be dead soon anyway." The older's voice held no emotion, no sign of caring. Gaara's gaze locked with Sasori's, and the rogue stared him down intently but blankly. Gaara glared at him, frowning, and Sasori simply ignored the heated glare. "From what Deidara has told me, you have changed from your younger self. Even as you died, you retracted your sand shield as to not let it fall on them all and crush them. You care much about your village and people?" He didn't seem to expect Gaara to respond, for he continued talking, "It's sad, really. You care so much for pitiful humans … Humans are so imperfect. I see not why you even bother with what they think of you."

Gaara's glare hardened and behind his back, his fists clenched. Sasori seemed unaffected by it, and muttered to himself, "And that old hag still lives there I bet. You could have at least killed her." He seemed to be speaking of Chiyo.

'_So he really is Chiyo's grandson…_' Gaara thought to himself as Sasori took his hazel gaze to the ceiling.

"It doesn't matter, I suppose. _They_'ll be here soon to attempt to take you home, anyway," the red haired man closed his eyes and smirked, somewhat evilly. It was the most emotion Gaara had seen from the man since he had brought him here. He opened his eyes and glared Gaara down evilly, "Enjoy the last bit of your life. Not like that's easy to do here, anyway. Don't even think your friends will save you." He looked away, and closed his eyes again, his smirk darkening, "I'll make sure to kill them. Perhaps I'll make a puppet out of your blonde friend."

Gaara's eyes widened in shock, but maybe in fear as well. '_Naruto…_' He thought to himself. The next thought that ran through his head was panicked, '_No! If he comes here … He and everyone else will be killed!_'

The red haired elder obviously saw the fear in the jinchuuriki's eyes and let out a bitter, evil laugh, "Isn't _that_ amusing! You really seem to care for them!" His dark stare fell back on Gaara, his smirk still there, "Too bad. I'll make sure to kill them, just on that little note there." The younger boy squirmed in resistant and glared at the man,

"Don't you dare…" He growled, his voice raspy but strong. Sasori looked simply amused, and smiled— however, like his smirk, it was dark and sinister… one filled with hate and pent-up anger and loathing.

"It really is sad. You care so much for them … even in this state when you can do nothing. I almost pity you…" Sasori shrugged, "But then I think: why bother?" He laughed, bitter and cold, "You'll be dead in a couple hours anyway! Enjoy that last bit of air and life, kid. The hourglass is almost up for you."

The man stood up, and quietly walked away, his cloak billowing behind him as he silently went back into the corridor, disappearing from Gaara's sight.

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M-D13: And there you have it. Sorry that the negative one is sorta short (however I managed to make it longer than it originally was), but if they aren't getting along, it's hard to make it realistic and in character, while long at the same time. And Sasori and Gaara aren't exactly the types to start screaming and yelling at each other (nah, that's more Sasuke and Naruto!). So, I'm sorry if I disappointed you or anything… That and I'm not very good at romance D: I fail miserably. Anyways… Peine, since you're _still_ the only one here –grumbles: "I _knew_ I should've just stuck with Sasuke and Naruto as my assistants…"— do the out-going.

Peine: Out-going?

M-D13: Yeah, you know… the R&R and stuff.

Peine: … Oh. Fine. –sigh- Thanks for reading this stupid-ass story that makes my minion look like a moron as well as pedophile (which we think he is, but anyway). Which I will say he is half the time, but I digress.

M-D13: … Now that wasn't very nice.

Peine: Hello! Evil villain! Don't care! ¬.¬

M-D13: Tch … Anyways … Remember to tell me your opinion on the pairing, as well as any other ideas for this you may have. I'll tell you right now, though, I intend to do quite a few "cannon" pairings, i.e. Sasuke x Naruto, obviously, Sasuke x Sakura (-tries not to cry-), and stuff like that. Some pairings I may just _have_ to ignore, because I just won't be able to write a decent storyline to (I'm going to have to murder my fingers to go and type a SasuSaku story… but unfortunately I'll have to). So … anyways … Again, thanks for reading!

**R&R Please!**


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